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Q: What should I do if I am overwhelmed at work?
A: There are three things you should do, i.e.,
1. You Must Face Reality.
Do:
Face problems squarely, including taboo ones.
Recognize the unspoken.
Deal with challenging issues head-on.
Address problems before they become more serious.
Take the initiative in discussions.
Confront the situation, not the person.
Don't:
Sidestep the actual problem.
Bury your head firmly in the sand.
Act as though reality doesn't exist or ignore it.
Act with denial.
Making an effort to face reality while really avoiding it.
Paying more attention to minor problems than to important ones.
Say:
Let's be realistic.
What should be said but not?
I don't think we're talking about what we should, which is...
What are the biggest opportunities/problems/challenges we face?
What is the truth of the matter?
What will happen if we ignore these problems?
We are adults. We can get through this.
Tell me the truth.
What are the taboos here?
When you do this, it makes me feel...
If you do this, it will have the following effect on the team/organization/stakeholders…
2. You Must Promote Openness.
Do:
Be truthful in a manner that others can confirm for themselves.
State your intention.
Be sincere and honest.
Be honest and upfront.
Over-disclose everything if possible.
Be honest when you can't be transparent (for example, when the law or ethical standards forbid it).
Work under the guiding principle "what you see is what you get."
Don't:
Withhold knowledge, conceal it, cover it up, or obscure it.
Possessing hidden motives, secret intentions, or hidden goals.
Impersonating others and making things seem different from how they really are.
Pretending.
Appearing, as opposed to being.
Say:
My goal is...
My plan is...
I'm going to be honest and open about this.
This is who we are as a team...
What I want to happen is...
Here are the truths...
Here are the facts...
In case you disagree with me...
This is all I can say because of law and compliance issues...
Right now, things aren't going well.
3. You Must Make Expectations Clear.
Do:
Reveal and disclose expectations.
Examine and confirm expectations.
If feasible and necessary, renegotiate expectations.
Don't:
Go against expectations. Break what people expect.
Assume that everyone has the same or clear expectations.
Guessing. Pretending you know for sure what a person expects.
Leave expectations open-ended or ambiguous.
Not establishing the needed details (i.e., what the expected results, deadlines, and required resources) that make the expectation real.
Failing to write down the expectations. Relying on situational expectations, which can change based on memory, interpretation, understanding, or recent incident.
Do something unrelated to the expectation, then adjust the expectation based on the outcome of the unrelated action.
Say:
Exactly what do you want me to give you? How soon?
How do you know if you've been successful? How will we know if we've done our job?
What do we care about the most: speed, quality, or cost?
What resources do you need to make this happen?
What will we do next, and when?
How and when will we follow up?
What do you think you've understood from this talk?
Does anyone else need to know this?
What do you think you should do next?
What do you think I should do next?
Things are different now. We should look over what we expect...
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