This article is part of the Manager’s Guide series. To read other articles in this series, please go to the main blog page, click the filter button, and select the Manager’s Guide category.
Q: What should I do if someone breaks an important commitment?
A: There are four things you should do, i.e.,
1. You Must Take Accountability.
Do:
Take responsibility for your actions. Be the first one to hold yourself accountable.
Own the results, whether they are good or bad.
Hold others accountable only after you hold yourself accountable.
Figure out how you will communicate how you are doing and how others are doing.
Don't:
Refusing to accept accountability or fess up. Avoid or abdicate accountability, as in, it's not my fault.
When anything goes wrong, accuse someone else or point the finger, such as "It's his fault, it's her fault, or it's their fault."
Not holding people accountable when expectations are not reached.
Say:
Here's what I did...
I am responsible for…
Please come back and let me know how you're doing by...
How will we make ourselves responsible?
What will happen if we don't follow through?
How and when will we check in to see how things are going?
Here's what you can expect.
How did we do?
I thought we would finish this by [[due date]]...
I'll be accountable for that.
Don't blame the team, blame me.
Did we get the results we were supposed to?
2. You Must Face Reality.
Do:
Face problems squarely, including taboo ones.
Recognize the unspoken.
Deal with challenging issues head-on.
Address problems before they become more serious.
Take the initiative in discussions.
Confront the situation, not the person.
Don't:
Sidestep the actual problem.
Bury your head firmly in the sand.
Act as though reality doesn't exist or ignore it.
Act with denial.
Making an effort to face reality while really avoiding it.
Paying more attention to minor problems than to important ones.
Say:
Let's be realistic.
What should be said but not?
I don't think we're talking about what we should, which is...
What are the biggest opportunities/problems/challenges we face?
What is the truth of the matter?
What will happen if we ignore these problems?
We are adults. We can get through this.
Tell me the truth.
What are the taboos here?
When you do this, it makes me feel...
If you do this, it will have the following effect on the team/organization/stakeholders…
3. You Must Show Respect.
Do:
Really cared about other people.
Show you care.
Give everyone (regardless of their position) the respect they deserve.
Show respect to everyone, including those who can't help you.
Do small acts of kindness.
Don't:
Not care about other people or show any respect for them.
Fake caring: acting like you care when you don't.
Respecting or caring about some people (those who can help you) but not others (those who can't).
Try to be efficient when talking with other people.
Say:
I admire and respect you.
I'm glad we get to work together.
Thanks for everything you do.
You're awesome at...
One thing I like about you is...
What do you think?
How do you feel?
Tell us what you think.
You have a different view of things. I need to hear you out.
I respect your position/authority/ strong opinion on this.
4. You Must Be Honest and Straight.
Do:
Be truthful. Tell the reality.
Be clear about your position.
Talk in plain words. Call things as they are.
Display integrity.
Don't:
Lie. Deceive.
Alter the truth. Withholding details. Influence people.
Use business jargon, avoidance tactics, double-talk, and flattery.
Twisting the truth (manipulating, positioning, and posing).
Create false impressions (by stating the facts, but in a misleading way).
Say:
This is how I see things...
This is something I really care about...
Here's what I think we should do...
As far as I can tell, these are the facts...
From my point of view...
I value our relationship and want to be honest with you...
I want to be candid with you...
Let me tell you what I've observed...
Here's what I've learned/understood...
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