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Writer's pictureDr. Marvilano

Manager’s Guide: What should I do if I want to gain the confidence of a younger individual?


This article is part of the Manager’s Guide series. To read other articles in this series, please go to the main blog page, click the filter button, and select the Manager’s Guide category.

What should I do if I want to gain the confidence of a younger individual?
What should I do if I want to gain the confidence of a younger individual?


Q: What should I do if I want to gain the confidence of a younger individual?

A: There are four things you should do, i.e.,



1. You Must Show Respect.

Do:

  • Really cared about other people.

  • Show you care.

  • Give everyone (regardless of their position) the respect they deserve.

  • Show respect to everyone, including those who can't help you.

  • Do small acts of kindness.


Don't:

  • Not care about other people or show any respect for them.

  • Fake caring: acting like you care when you don't.

  • Respecting or caring about some people (those who can help you) but not others (those who can't).

  • Try to be efficient when talking with other people.


Say:

  • I admire and respect you.

  • I'm glad we get to work together.

  • Thanks for everything you do.

  • You're awesome at...

  • One thing I like about you is...

  • What do you think?

  • How do you feel?

  • Tell us what you think.

  • You have a different view of things. I need to hear you out.

  • I respect your position/authority/ strong opinion on this.



2. You Must Promote Openness.

Do:

  • Be truthful in a manner that others can confirm for themselves.

  • State your intention.

  • Be sincere and honest.

  • Be honest and upfront.

  • Over-disclose everything if possible.

  • Be honest when you can't be transparent (for example, when the law or ethical standards forbid it).

  • Work under the guiding principle "what you see is what you get."


Don't:

  • Withhold knowledge, conceal it, cover it up, or obscure it.

  • Possessing hidden motives, secret intentions, or hidden goals.

  • Impersonating others and making things seem different from how they really are.

  • Pretending.

  • Appearing, as opposed to being.


Say:

  • My goal is...

  • My plan is...

  • I'm going to be honest and open about this.

  • This is who we are as a team...

  • What I want to happen is...

  • Here are the truths...

  • Here are the facts...

  • In case you disagree with me...

  • This is all I can say because of law and compliance issues...

  • Right now, things aren't going well.



3. You Must Know How to Trust.

Do:

  • Show that you are likely to trust.

  • Give a lot of trust to the people who have earned it.

  • Give your trust to people who are working hard to earn it.

  • Learn how to give others smart-trust based on the situation, the risk, and how trustworthy they are.


Don't:

  • Not trusting because it's risky.

  • Pretending to trust someone.

  • Letting people take on responsibilities without giving them the authority or resources.

  • Act like you trust someone but then control and hover over them.


Say:

  • What does the circumstance call for?

  • What could go wrong?

  • What do I think about giving this person my trust?

  • Does he or she have the right traits and skills?

  • I believe in you.

  • I have faith in you.

  • I trust you because of what you've done in the past.

  • I'm here for you.

  • We can talk about this whenever you want.

  • What worries me is...

  • We are counting on you.

  • I know you can do this.



4. You Must Protect Others.

Do:

  • Give other people credit.

  • Talk about people as if they were in the room with you.

  • Speak up for people who can't speak for themselves.

  • If you have to talk about others, make sure your intent is clear and justified.

  • Kill gossip immediately.


Don't:

  • Let people down / betray people.

  • Having two faces: it looks like you're giving credit to other people when they're there, but when they're not, you downplay their role and take the credit yourself.

  • Talking nicely to people in front of them but saying bad things about them behind their backs.

  • Gossiping. Share private information about other people.


Say:

  • I'd like to thank [[name]] for this achievement.

  • You did a great job. I'll make sure that [[name]] knows about it.

  • Thank you so much for your great help.

  • When this person is here, we should talk about this.

  • I'd rather talk to her face-to-face than talk about her.

  • How should we talk to this person about what's going on?

  • What is in this person's best interest?

  • It sounds like you need to talk straight to [[name]].


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